In the world of family law and divorce I am constantly asking myself where is the love?
When clients step over the threshold to my office- it’s assumed that the love is gone. As if that foot print on the carpet drains all the love away from a relationship once overflowing with it.
Love is never gone; it just moves around and takes different shapes.
What does love look like when it moves around in the world of family law?
I’ve seen love and it appeared as a father who worked diligently for 2 months to refinance his home to free up extra cash. The cash was for his ex-wife so she could begin her new life and he could have freedom and closure.
In contrast, I’ve worked with another father whose ex wouldn’t let the children go with him to visit his mother one last time before she passed away – completely overwhelmed the with maintenance issue facing the couple.
If you feel the love you had for your wife or husband is gone remember there are pieces imbedded in your soul you can find to get through the process of separation. Closing one relationship opens your heart for another better source of love.
If you are sitting in my office the love is not gone, it may feel that way but the reality is through a separation and divorce – especially with children – one learns to love differently.
You can love your children differently; you can love yourself differently and you can even grow to appreciate the things your ex-spouse did for the family during the marriage.
A divorce focused on the love of the children is always better than a divorce motivated by self-interests, hatred or vengeance.
Regardless the “reason” I implore my clients and anyone going through this difficult process to stop and ask “where is the love?”
Find the hidden love you shared. Hold that love in your heart instead of hatred or anger. Energy wasted on matters you cannot change and money wasted on fighting has emotional and financial costs that have long term damage and I mean this from the bottom of my heart to you.
I wish for you a season and year full of love and ability to embrace change.
