The Jerry Maguire movie inspired me to share and promote a better way to divorce. Here are 6 Steps to finding your “Kwan”
This is the scene from the movie where my inspiration started.
Later in the movie, Jerry’s client explains:
“It’s not the coin – it’s the kwan”
Jerry: Kwan. That’s your word?
Rod: Yeah, man, it means love, respect, community… and the dollars too. The whole package. The Kwan.
I offer my “things we think, and do not say” as a family law attorney watching too many families fight to win the divorce instead of fixing the damage. Too many babies are left wondering when the fighting will stop and what’s going to happen to them and their family.
The best way of resolving a divorce in Colorado is deciding your fate instead of gambling with your future in front of a Judge, who does not know your family.
Choose to make all of the decisions for your family, draft an agreement with the assistance of a lawyer and complete the process in just over 90 days by finding your kwan.
Here are ways to find your personal kwan.
Hate the game – not the player!
The process of divorce leaves us scared, paranoid and uncertain. You are divorcing your partner or spouse for several reasons but wasting time with hatred towards them instead of cooperating towards settlement leaves you playing a game no one wins except the lawyers billing by the hour.
Commit to getting through your divorce in 90 days.
People should treat a divorce like a diet. Suck it up for 90 days with an end date in mind and a committed focus on resolution and be done as soon as the law says you can.
An aggressive attorney, committed to fact finding, adhering to deadlines and assisting you in meeting a professional with answers instead of positioning and posturing through the litigation of divorce is what you need for action.
Spend time with a Family Therapist before agreeing to the CFI or PRE
Child and Family Investigators (CFIs) are overused, take too long and often leave clients with more paranoia and grief than when appointed.
In family law and divorce, when parents are unable to agree on a parenting plan best for their children, lawyers will motion, or the Court will order a professional to investigate your family. This is all paid for by the two of you.
If one parent wants to drag out the process and increase costs, that parent can make a claim that the case calls for Parental Responsibility Evaluation (PRE) instead of the CFI investigation. A licensed psychologist is appointed to conduct psychological testing on both parents and the children, if necessary, and then make recommendations for a future parenting plan.
Parties are better off agreeing that divorce and losing time with your kids makes all of us crazy. Using a family therapist for assistance in determining what is best for the children and yourselves is far less expensive with much greater long term benefits.
Find a lawyer with resources that helps with more than a database of trial experts.
No fighting over money that does or does not exist.
More than a few clients in my high asset cases struggled with the division of assets or accounts for no other reason than believing the asset worth will increase at a later date.
Others take issue with how money was spent and wasted during the marriage, and somehow think they should be reimbursed for those indiscretions now the marriage is over.
Stay in the Here and Now of your divorce and out of the swamp of speculation and waters of what was and divide and conquer what IS!
You’ve been married; you want out – GET OUT! Pay the price and go.
In my 15 years of practicing law, there are clients, who for whatever reasons want to “nickel and dime” with the last few items before settling.
Lawyers who’ve been practicing as long as I have, know a “dining room table or coffee pot story.” I’m not dismissing the emotional value of personal property, I am telling you that when you are paying your attorneys $300.00 or more an hour, get some perspective on what’s important and why. Make the must have list – a very short list – and move on with your life. The fight for personal belongings has not once in my career benefited a client.
Be more committed to your family rather than leaving your family’s fate to a judge who has hundreds of other cases.
Oh, I hear it all of the time…. ” but it takes two Teddi Ann.” It does, but you have the power to be brave enough to decide.
Tony Robbins, the personal motivation speaker, talks about clarity and certainty. When you have clarity about what you want and why, and work from a place of certainty you will prevail over a less certain party every time.
Clients find certainty and clarity fairly quickly when discussing what is reasonable and not; what is likely to happen if the case went forward to litigation or not; and how to get out with the greatest benefit and least costs possible when working with me.
Save your children and restructure your family successfully now. Find your kwan.
If you need our assistance or have any questions call 720-943-7707 or email us
