Do you want your children to have sleep and concentration issues? Are you hoping they perform poor academically? Are you excited to watch them withdraw socially?
These are some of the ramifications when parents risk their children’s happiness through a long, drawn-out custody battle. The consequences for children suffering through a high conflict divorce include everything from sleep and concentration issues to poor academic performance and withdrawn social behaviors.
Too many parents focus on their parental rights and fail to appreciate their children’s rights during the divorce.
A CHILD has the right to be safe;
A CHILD has the right to be cared for properly;
A CHILD has the right to a healthy relationship with both parents.
Would you be interested in sleeping in a different place every other night or every weekend? Wouldn’t it be fantastic for your social life if you weren’t sure where you would be each night or weekend? Don’t you love it when you want to participate in activities, but you’re constantly moving around and can’t pin down a schedule?
That is what your child is experiencing If you don’t handle your parenting plan properly. Maybe a little perspective will help you make better decisions for your children.
Ask yourself this question….
What are you doing to support your child and his welfare over your needs?
Here is a suggestion that has worked for clients as an option. Nesting.
Nesting is when parents keep the home for the children and then the parents move in and out during their respective parenting time so the children can maintain consistent schedules and sense of home.
It is disturbing how parents contract the holiday schedule without care or concern for the child’s desire to get up late or stay and play with Christmas toys in one house.
Here are some ways to truly do what is best for your children.
1. Pick a home base. While I advocate this for all ages, especially for children 5 and under, let them have one home to call home. In these situations, we negotiate frequent after school and dinner visits and more weekend time for the non-resident parent. In some situations, the parent that lives with the children may leave while the other parent does dinner and bed time routine with the children.
2. Keep your parenting time kids only. Your children must already suffer through learning to live two separate lives with their parents divorced. At least for a year or more, do not subject them to your new love life. In a shared parenting plan, you have time for you. Make your time with your children their time.
3. Be willing to bend. Sometimes your child will want more time with the other parent. So long as it is safe, make it happen. The more power and control your child perceives the better off they will be through the divorce.
As a lawyer and child advocate I can help you negotiate parenting plans that are reasonable and in your child’s best interests.
I help do this with graduated parenting time schedules, language to protect the children when and if issues arise, and frequent time with both parents when it is best for the children.
Call me at 720-722-0776 or Email Me to discuss Nesting or other options to create the best life possible for your children.
