The 5 steps are to communicate with your spouse or partner; figure out your finances; commit to resolution; get it in writing, and go to court – if necessary.
Divorce is not an easy process by any means, there are steps you can take making the divorce process simple, less stressful and financially efficient.
1. COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
The first step is understanding what you are fighting about and what you can agree upon. No matter how much you may think you disagree with the person you are divorcing, getting out of this will take the efforts and agreement of you both.
Sitting down together to discuss parenting time, separation of assets and debts, and how to handle the divorce together can be helpful. If one of you is unwilling to have this conversation, or emotions are such that it is virtually impossible, know that there are people trained as divorce coaches and mediators that can help you communicate through the process.
You can also try this communication through E-mails. One of the matters you should determine in this first step is whether to file the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage now, or later. There are benefits to both. Only you can determine if it’s best to get the 91 day clock ticking, or whether you want to work on your own timelines, stay out of court while working through your divorce.
2. FIGURE OUT THE FINANCES.
The second step is gathering financial information and assessing the current financial situation to move forward with you new life. Whether you decide to handle the divorce with or without attorneys, the State requires you to share your financial information with one another.
This includes bank statements, 3 years of tax returns, any employment benefit information, and the statements that document current debts. Taking the time to get the list of Mandatory disclosures and collect and exchange all of the information will often settle some of – if not all of – the financial disputes.
Sometimes people have an amount set in their minds of what should be paid in maintenance or family support and then seeing the financials brings a new light to what is financially feasible for each of you.
There are also professionals known as Certified Divorce Financial Analysts. They work to figure out the best division of debts and assets, the “what if” scenarios of keeping or selling the home, and what two budgets will look like going forward for two households instead of one.
3. COMMIT TO RESOLUTION.
After the issues of contention have been organized and your educated regarding the financial picture, and hopefully have attended the mandatory parenting after divorce class, the next step is mediation.
Mediation is a less formal setting than court, either with or without counsel and with a 3rd party neutral who is trained to facilitate your settlement. Committing to resolving the issues is by far the biggest step towards the simpler, less stressful more financially efficient divorce.
You should be in mediation within 60 days of either filing for divorce or deciding to divorce. Waiting longer can often raise more emotional problems of anger, bitterness or panic instead of keeping the parties focused on the process and the factual matters necessary to resolve in the divorce.
4. GET IT IN WRITING.
The fourth step is getting all agreements in writing. Ideally you have hired a mediator who is also a lawyer and is willing to assist in the drafting of your separation agreement and parenting plan. If not, the mediator will usually offer a Memorandum of Understanding.
While committing to resolution is important, you still should not sign any agreements without consulting an attorney. If you chose to go to mediation without counsel, do not sign anything without talking to a lawyer.
If you sign the Memorandum of Understanding know that the Court will most likely bind you to the agreements made in mediation IF YOU SIGNED an agreement. Paying a lawyer to go over your agreement and review your financial information is a very financially efficient way to pay for counsel at the end instead of throughout the process to legally advise you before finalizing the divorce.
5. GOING TO COURT.
The final step is going to court to finalize the divorce. If you have worked through this without counsel and have children you will have to appear in court to make a record for the Court to know you both understand the agreement and believe it to be in the best interests of your children.
If you do not have minor children and have submitted all of your financial information, the signed agreements, a proposed decree and affidavit of non-appearance, the court will sign the paperwork and send you a copy of the decree after 91 days have passed since the filing of the petition.
If you have any questions or concerns please email or call us at 720-943-7707
