When getting divorced in Colorado, there are various approaches to handle the dissolution of marriage. The traditional litigated divorce is one but there are four other important options before hiring your lawyer or getting divorced.
“RECONCILIATION”
Before you head down the path of dissolving the marriage and spending $5000.00 to $100,000.00 or more on the process, have you at least considered or attempted to fix the marriage?
In my experience I have seen couples who could have taken the money they spent on a divorce to use for therapy or a retreat to really consider why the marriage is broken and an action plan to fix it. So much of their marriage was still there but they made a decision, came to my office and want a divorce. I see marriages that can be repaired so I encourage anyone looking into it to reconsider and try to work it out.
I sincerely hope my office is your last stop not the first.
“COLLABORATION”
With Collaborative Law the parties hire their own attorneys but those attorneys are trained in conflict resolution and mediation and participate regularly in multi-disciplinary groups –or teams.
Through the collaborative process the client maintains attorney client privileges and separate representation but the attorney is focused on the resolution not litigation. It is a team approach to dissolving the marriage without destroying a relationship between the two parties. While still a difficult process, the end result is usually a comprehensive well settled matter that often keeps the parties out of court completely with no reason to return for modifications later. Collaborative Law has developed a process for everything to be transparent, while involving other professionals – counselors, financial experts, or mediators if necessary..that become part of the team to rebuild the family differently
In Collaborative Law, the parties usually choose to get everything settled and file the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage at the same time they file the Separation Agreement, Parenting Class Certificate ( if children involved), and the proposed decree. Then it is just a matter of waiting for the court to sign the Decree 91 days later.
“MEDIATION”
Clients are served well through mediation before filing the petition for dissolution of marriage.
It is important to note that unless there are special circumstances, the courts in Colorado will make you mediate before they hear your case.
In mediation, the parties sit down with a neutral professional, usually with experience in family law, and determine what the issues are and how to best resolve those matters.
Mediation is a more relaxed and less formal environment and often the parties are placed in different rooms –so while you are working through the process together you don’t have to sit together in an often intense and emotional atmosphere.
In mediation, the parties are able to negotiate a settlement for the financial and parenting issues with the assistance of the mediator. Even if you aren’t able to agree on everything, identifying issues that can be agreed upon makes the litigation focus on issues of contention only.
IF an agreement is reached, the mediator can draft a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) for you to sign. If you decide to mediate without counsel, consider paying a consultation fee for a lawyer to review your situation and the MOU before you sign it.
Once you have a signed MOU, either party can file it with the court and ask that it be made an order of the court, so be very careful about signing anything.
“ARBITRATION”
In cases where the parties want the lawyers, want the petition filed immediately, but do not want to wait for a court date, it is possible for the parties to agree on a retired judge or other arbitrator to make final determinations in the case.
While you have to pay for the arbitrator’s time and your lawyer’s time, in many cases you save money and mental anguish by getting your case heard sooner by an arbitrator chosen by your own lawyers – usually because he or she seems best suited to hear your case.
“LITIGATION”
While everyone still seems to think you need to hire lawyers, “file for divorce”, and start down a road of litigation, know this is the most expensive and least effective route to take for a divorce.
Communication ends between parties who let their lawyers do all of the talking. There are status conferences and court requirements often not necessary. The waiting on your lawyers and the court often takes more time than if you chose one of the other options mentioned.
If your case is one of high conflict or one party is stalling or sabotaging the dissolution of marriage, then at least starting with the filing of the petition may be a must.
If you are unable to agree on parenting time or sharing of expenses through the process, filing the petition for the divorce may also be necessary.
This article is meant as a simple guideline for you to review before taking any steps for a divorce. If you have any questions or concerns I am here to help you work through them.
Please give me a call so we can talk about your personal situation together for the best course of action.
